Parenting Resource Institute

This Blog is dedicated to everyone who wants to be the best parent they can be. The skills you learn will help parenting be more enjoyable and effective.

The Blog will contain articles that will teach skills to help develop strong and united families.

What is a strong family? There are a number of words in the dictionary that describe strong.

strong: stable, healthy, thriving; able to resist strain, force or attack.

What is a united family? There are a number of dictionary words that describe united.:

united: made into or caused to act as one entity; in harmony.

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Self-Respect

v    Self-Respect: One of the sign of a healthy person is the way we treat ourselves. How well we care for our personal needs such as hygiene, healthy eating and exercise and adequate amounts of sleep. Respect toward yourself includes the words you say to yourself. Being disrespectful to you is destructive to your growth and development as a person. Calling yourself names drags you down and helps keep you from living up to the best you can be.

      “Respectful talk includes the words you say to yourself. When you call yourself names it drags you down and keeps you from living up to the best you can be.”

      “When you take care of yourself it shows me you are growing to be a responsible person.”

      “When you put healthy habits into your life, it shows me you are ready to have more privileges.”

 

     

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Respect for Personal Space

Respect For Personal Space: An important aspect of individual personhood is to have our personal space respected. There are times when we all need time to be by ourselves or have activities we prefer to do by ourselves.
 
“We respect each others personal space in our family.”
 
“We treat others the way we like to be treated.”
 
“Keep our hand and feet to ourselves. We all have personal space we deserve to have protected.”
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Reminders about Respect for Personal Property

“We respect each others personal property in our family.”
“In our family, we respect other people’s property.”
“In our family we respect each others’ property- we ask before we borrow and return when we finish.”
“Since you broke your sister’s toy you will have to replace it out of your money because we respect each others property in this family.”

“When you abuse your possessions, it doesn’t show you are responsible.”

“Everyone in this family will have the right to have private property as long as it is safe.”

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Respect for Personal Property

Respect For Personal Property: Every person deserves the right to have private personal property protected. Everyone needs to ask before they borrow any possessions and return them after their use. If they damage or destroy a possession they need to replace or pay for it. Responsibility is shown when you treat your own possessions with respect. If you choose to waste, damage/destroy or mess up your  or others’ possessions you may lose the privilege of using them or will have to replace it or clean it up.
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Reminders of Respectful Talk

Reminds of Respectful Talk
“We use respectful words in our family.”
“We are considerate with each other in our family.”
“We are polite with each other in our family.”
“We treat others the way we like to be treated.”
“In our family, we say positive thing to each other.”
“When you’re rude to me, I won’t be giving you what you want.”
“Don’t expect to get what you want if you speak to me like that.”
“If you’re rude to the supplier, don’t expect new supplies.”
“If you can’t use respectful workd, keep it to yourself.”
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Respectful Talk

Respectful Talk: The foundation of healthy and mutually satisfying relationships is respect. How we talk to each other can be healing or destructive. Some of those destructive words are very painful and can haunt us for the rest of our lives. It is vital to make it clear at a very early stage of family life that disrespectful words will not be tolerated and respectful words are expected. Good ways to say that are as follows:
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Examples of Manners

Examples of Manners

*Learn to listen well, not just talk.

*Learn to obey the rules of the road.

*Notice those that serve, leave a tip.

*Go home before you wear out your welcome.

*Keep confidences- earn the trust of others.

*Remember not everyone shares your interests.

*Wait for all others to be served before beginning to eat.

*Say please.

*Strengthen community- make friendly gestures to others.

*Say thank you.

*Remember important times in others lives- send cards.

*Watch what you say- understand the power of words.

*Dress appropriately for occasions.

*Honor those that nurture and lead- respect your elders.

*Develop a generous spirit. Give gifts to show how you care.

*Refrain from the use of hand gestures to express your anger.

*Honor cultural differences.

*Be on time.

*Clean up after yourself- leave places better than when you arrived.

*Keep your hands to yourself.

*Resist humor that demeans- Don’t tell jokes at the expense of others.

*Keep your feet off the furniture.

*Avoid intrusion into important family times like meal times and bedtime.

*Patiently wait your turn.

*Accept responsibility for your mistakes; apologize when you’ve blown it.

*Be considerate of others plans.

*Protect others from private body functions. (farts, blown noses, burps, etc.)

*Pay the debts you owe.

*Guard the dignity of others when they do something embarrassing- pretend you don’t notice.

*Tell white lies (occasionally) to protect others from hurt.

*Brutal honesty is not always good.

*Remember to send thank you note in writing to show your appreciation for gifts and kindnesses.

*Be appropriately respectful and sensitive to the atmosphere of various events. (church, weddings, performances, funerals, etc.)

*Meet others at their own level- kneel to talk with children; help the disabled; reach out to the hurting.

*Speak the truth in love- tell someone they have whip cream on their face or food between their teeth.

Remember moderation is a good thing- excess in drinking, eating, exercise and many things can do damage.

A good way to remind family members about manners is to say, “In our family we treat people the way we want to be treated.” and then remind them of the manner that needs improvement.            

    

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Keep Your Family Afloat with Respect

The first aspect of respect is Manners.
 
Manners: One of the important social skills that help a person develop healthy relationships is basic social manners. In his excellent, entertaining book, Say Please, Say Thank You, Donald McCullough reminds us of the basic manners that are so vital to healthy human interactions. He says it well in a section on “Mind Your Manners”. “ My concern has to do with something more basic: the respect we owe each other. … Simply put, the neglect of courtesy leads to the collapse of community. … The heart of courtesy is respect for persons; it has less to do with manners than with a manner of relating, a manner that acknowledges the worth of human beings. At the heart of disrespect is disrespect for people; it has less to do with breaking rules of etiquette than with breaking the tie that binds us together.”
 
In the next entry we will list examples of manners.
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Strong Families

Strong Families
The family is one of the smallest unit of a community. The strength & unity of families will have a great impact on the strength & unity of their communities. What does it take to be a strong family? My clinical work with troubled families led me to develop attributes of a strong family, a raft to keep them afloat when the family seemed to be sinking. It was developed when I noticed that certain subjects kept coming up, week after week in my discussions with the families. I call this tool the R.A.F.T. Each letter stands for two of the attributes of a strong family. You could say they are rafts of protection to help keep your family afloat.
A funny aside was one of the possible combination of the letters – F. A. R. T. Butt (ha, ha) I chose R. A. F. T. for obvious reasons.
I will name each attribute here and then develop each one with other entries in this blog.
R– Respect
R– Responsibility
A– Appreciation
A– Affection
F– Faith
F– Fun
T– Time
T– Trust
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